Dusty Cuffs
by SereneTragedy
Summary: Harry, Severus, a Feather Duster, Golf Ball, and Handcuffs... The things that can happen. PWP, Slash.


*yawn* Nothing like writing a little drabble to make you ready for bed. Written for a cure of weekend boredom and silence. The song Ron is singing is a parallel to "The Wheels on the Bus" nursery rhyme. Hope you enjoy!

Oh, and the Feather Duster, Golf Ball, and Handcuffs were all part of a prompt from the lovely BertaS =)

Dusty Cuffs__________

Harry sneezed. _Blasted dungeons!_ Then he sighed. _Severus, you're lucky I love you, I don't know anyone else who would put up with this shite._

Harry brushed over the pictures on the mantel piece with the feather duster he had transfigured out of a golf ball. He stopped when the picture of Spain caught his eye, and smiled. Severus had been standing on the veranda completely oblivious to Harry holding the camera. He only got one snapped off before Severus whirled around and threatened to blast the camera. But as usual, Harry just batted his lashes and Severus' anger melted away. It was his favorite, Severus actually had his lips tweaked slightly up. He had argued his nose had caught a whiff of something foul, but Harry knew better.

Harry sneezed again, nearly dropping the picture he'd picked up. He gave the feather duster an evil glare, as if all this was the inanimate object's fault. Then he twirled it, and his eyebrow raised. _Well, _that_ brought on some interesting revelations_. One in particular that sparked the thought of if Manor Robes & Such also sold costumes, _or at least maid outfits_¸ Harry thought.

He chuckled and set the frame back down, moving over to one of the voluminous storage cabinets. He opened one of the doors and groaned.

"Bloody hell! How can you get dust in there?!" Harry shook his head, "Nevermind, I don't want to know."

He shut the door, maybe a little more promptly and just a tad too much force than needed. The door bounced back an inch or two before finally settling into its previous position, post-disturbed. And then it happened. Harry heard a _clink-click-clank!_ sound and scrunched his eyebrows together.

_What the…_ Harry moved to the side of the cabinet to see if he could catch a glimpse of the mysterious object.

"_Lumos_," Harry muttered while trying to maneuver the cabinet forwards just a pinch, but his efforts were futile.

Harry groaned, straightening his back as he laid the feather duster on the back of the couch. _Think, Potter._ He had developed a habit of convincing himself that Severus had taken over his mind and knew exactly what and how he should do something. _Just _think… He eyed the wooden structure for a moment and then slapped his forehead. _You're a wizard, dumbass_.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

Harry levitated the cabinet about 8 inches away from the wall and sat it back down. Shaking his head again, he walked back around to investigate. However, he was far from prepared to discover _this_ object in particular.

Lying on the cold, stone ground were a pair of shiny silver handcuffs. Harry, slack-jawed, slowly kneeled down to the floor, his eyes never leaving the two rings strewn together with a short piece of chain. Snapping his jaw shut, he slowly started to smile, which quickly turned into roaring laughter, leaving the Gryffindor curled into a fetal position squeezing his sides.

-------------

Severus Snape was not having a good day, and none the cheerier when he received an owl from Harry, telling him that they were invited to the Burrow tomorrow for Miss Hermione Granger and Mister Ronald Weasley's engagement party. And as if with finality, Harry put at the bottom that they _were_ going and that he had already RSVPed for them.

_Brat, I can make my own decisions, you know_.

*Smheh! Not since you married him you haven't!* somewhere deep inside his mind spat back.

He sighed walking down the stairs to their dungeons. It had long ago switched from _his_ to _theirs_ and _ours_. So long ago that Severus couldn't even remember a time when he had called them his and solely his.

_Amazing what green eyes and crooked glasses can do to a shriveled heart…_

He still blamed Dumbledore for this predicament. If that meddlesome old crackpot wouldn't have forced them to resume the Occlumency lessons in his sixth year, and then on top of that, sent them to gather and destroy the remaining Horcruxes after the false locket incident –

Severus sighed, not much use arguing with the man now.

"Peppermint Boomslang."

Salazar chuckled as he opened the door, Severus just grunting passing him. Why he agreed to Harry's incredulous idea of them each picking a word for the password he had yet to figure out. He set his pack down on the ground and started to unbutton his robe.

"That you Sev?" Harry's head poked around the corner of the kitchen grinning.

_Ah, that would be why_, Severus thought to himself.

"No, I am the new Dark Lord coming to finish you off before I begin my reign of the wizarding world," he hung his outer robe up turning towards Harry, "and Dumbledore's next."

Harry shook his head giggling, "Well, you better not forget the Great and Powerful Snape. _Especially_ if you kill me first, I think he might be just a smidgen bit perturbed."

Severus raised an eyebrow as he walked over towards his husband, "Oh really, and pray tell why he would be so upset? I thought he might be overjoyed at me gleefully ridding the world of his brat."

Harry stood on his tiptoes and placed a chaste kiss to Severus lips, "Yes but see, you already figured it out. I'm _his_ brat," Harry wrapped an arm around his waist, Severus snorted, "and he's not too good at that whole sharing thing."

Severus waved his hand as if dismissing the whole thing, Harry caught it and brought it down to his chest, "Besides, I love him."

Severus sighed as he looked into endless green orbs, finally rid of those hideous black glasses (Severus knew he saw a potion for that affect, luckily he was divested of them before the wedding took place). He rolled his eyes, the edges of his lips twisting up.

"I love you too, brat."

Harry cooed into his shirt, burying his face, "Dinner's almost done, go sit down."

Harry slapped Severus' bottom before turning back around into the kitchen. Severus quirked an eyebrow, _he cooked dinner? And then he slapped my arse?_ Hhm… _tonight should be interesting… _He went and sat as he was told, dragging the Prophet into his lap awaiting a dinner call.

-------------

Dinner, Severus had to admit, was splendid. He was still amazed at how the young man could make meals rivaling the entire house elf popular of Hogwarts put together, yet couldn't even make a calming draught. His thoughts were interrupted though by a clanking object dropped unceremoniously onto his lap.

"Potter, what the hell—" his words where cut short when he saw _what_ exactly was in his lap. His eyes widened and a light crimson blush was slowly creeping up from under his color.

"Harry, where did you get these? You didn't touch them did you? You don't know what could be-"

Again his words were cut off. Harry started laughing and put a hand of Severus' shoulder, "Don't worry Sev, I used every cleansing spell I could think of, and even some I couldn't."

Severus gave him a skeptical look, so Harry pointed over to a bookshelf, "How many books do you have? I can use my brain when necessary you know."

Severus snorted and Harry cuffed him upside the head. He shot an astonished look at Harry, who crossed his arms against his chest defensively, "What? 's not like you don't do it enough to me."

Severus narrowed his eyes and then looked down at the handcuffs again, picking them up with his index finger, "And what, exactly, did you have in mind to do with these."

Harry's eyes lit up and a huge grin came upon his face, "Oh, I had a few ideas, most of which involved a bed-"

His words were cut off as Severus had immediately jumped up and began to pounce his husband the moment he saw _that_ particular fire in his eyes. Crushing lips and battling tongues ensued, handcuffs momentarily put on hold.

When they broke away Harry was panting, "Well, I won't object to that either."

Severus growled into Harry's neck, giving him chills up his spine, "Oh don't think I'm stopping there Harry James Potter."

They quickly made the trek from the living room to the bedroom. Severus kicked the door closed behind them rather harshly once they were both inside.

Another _clank_ could be heard in the living room. The golf ball, restored to it's original shape, slowly rolled across the floor towards the fire, but was stopped by a purple shoe. In their haste to get to the bedroom neither man had heard the roar of the fire as the Headmaster appeared.

"Oh my," Dumbledore said, both eyebrows hidden deep underneath his hat, "I believe I will perhaps come by tomorrow instead."

He levitated the small white ball over to the chair Severus was moments ago occupying and took a handful of floo powder and disappeared.

-------------

The next day both men were a little late to rise, which consequently made them just a little late to the Burrow. Molly had admonished both men, but they were both luckily saved from too much harm. Ron had swooped down to rescue Harry within moments of seeing him, and Kingsley had said he had a few propositions for the Potion Master. Molly begrudgingly let both off with a stern look.

Ron instantly took Harry over to the refreshments table, both men eating various sweets, refilling glasses, and talking like not another care in the world could ever be imagined. But, as Harry's sleeve rose up his arm as he reached for another cookie, it caught the attention of the second youngest of the Weasley clan.

"Harry, what's this?" Ron asked, taking Harry's hand and pulling his sleeve back up, revealing a clear ring of purple and blue. In their haste that morning after already being late, Harry nor Severus had noticed the bruises. Ron's eyes went wide and his head snapped up to look at Harry, "If that greasy bastard hurt you I will have no problem Avada Kedavra-ing his arse straight back to Voldemort!"

Harry choked on his drink and sat it down on the table. Pulling his arm back he tried to soothe his friends fears, "Trust me Ron, it wasn't anything _un_consentual."

Ron's eyes got, if even possible, wider and his jaw dropped.

"Oh do I really have to spell it out for you? I found some handcuffs and showed them to Severus—"

Ron dropped his glass and put both hands over his ears. He then started singing loudly, "I caught a dragon in it's trap, in it's trap, in it's trap. I caught a dragon in it's trap and now it's -"

_Thunk!_

"Ronald Weasley!" Hermione looked perturbed at her boyfriend, "What in Merlin's name are you going on about?"

"Harry and Snape in bed with handcuffs!"

Hermione's jaw worked but no sound came out, her gaze switching between the two men.

"O-oh…" she looked down at the grass.

Harry was about to start explaining but at that very moment he felt a hand on his lower back, "Miss Granger, Mister Weasley, I guess it would be an appropriate time to offer my congratulations."

They both muttered a thank you but neither could meet his eyes. Severus casted a glance at Harry who just merely shrugged.

Severus rose an eyebrow but continued, "I hate to interrupt the festivities, but I do believe I have more, _important_, things to attend to if Harry would be so inclined to join me."

Ron let a low strangled crying sound which caught his attention.

"Oh, he's fine, just… just some integestion," Hermione took her fiancé by the arm and started tugging him away, "Sorry you two couldn't stay longer, erm, have fun, and see you next time!"

Hermione blushed as she turned around.

"Harry, what was that all –"

"Oh, nothing Sev, come on," he wrapped his arm around Severus' waist, "As you said, we have more _important_ things to attend to at the moment."

They waved to everyone as the left towards the apparition point. Well, Harry waved and Severus gave a nod to some.

When they made it to the point, Severus turned Harry around to stand in front of him, pulling him close into his arms and placed a kiss upon his lips, "Yes, things such as situating a camera at the foot of the bed so Mister Weasley doesn't have to stress his brain at imagining the image, he can merely pull it out whenever he desires."

"What?!" Harry looked horrified, Severus just gave a dark chuckle and evil grin, and apparated both of them away.


End file.
